FROM MY WORLD TO YOURS

Peace be with you

2012-01-29T11:55:00.000-08:00

Today is a day of rest. Kinda. I have cleaned my room, vacuumed the house, loaded the dishwasher, changed the kitty box, and am in the process of doing my laundry. NOW I can rest and play on my computer. Somethings just have to be done first :-)

I went to my daughter's yesterday and spent some time with her family. They were in the process of rearranging the bedrooms so the kids would have a playroom. Needless to say it was a bit hectic there. The wee one was cranky because he didn't get much of a nap yesterday. He would go from crying to laughing and back again. The older ones were fighting over the t.v. Pretty typical weekend.

Next does not bring anything new that I am aware of. Back to the j.o.b. and trying to keep the physicians happy. Back to the gym as well.

Day 6 of 21

2012-01-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today was day 6 of 21 and 6 out of 7 for the past week. Wednesday was just too bitterly crazy at work and I was exhausted when I got done. I skipped the work out.

My son and his fiance just left with the new car seat I purchased for her. She is due this next month and does not have much in the way of baby supplies. She is a hard working single Mom trying to take care of her babies. Unfortunately the one she has in the oven has an absent father. He found out she was pregnant and waved adios. He is 10 years older than she is, works for the RR, and makes damn good money. I hope she goes after him for child support. That will help her out a lot and he needs to take responsibility for the child. You play, you pay, as the old saying goes.

I will probably be going to my daughter's this weekend to visit again and pick up some baby items that she is willing to contribute to the cause, so to speak. She has two little boys and friends with boys so hopefully between the two of us we can help the Fiance out with some stuff to get her started.

Work this week was absurdly busy. While it pays the bills there are days I don't truly appreciate how significantly the chaos contributes to my pocketbook.

Today was a gorgeous day. The sun was out and the skies were blue. It was cold but there was sunshine people!! SO worth the cold to have the blue skies. Tomorrow is bringing freezing fog and more clouds. How do I count the ways that thrills me................

I was hoping to get out into the sunshine and hike or walk tomorrow. I'm not sure that will happen. Maybe the weather will be better at the kids. It seems to most always be better than ours.

The roommate is not home yet. I'm sure she went to the local hang out to have a beer or two with her homies. She is quite social and has built a nice repore with the owner and regulars.

It is quiet here at the ole' homestead, which is nice. No street noise, no honking horns or revving cars. I could get used to this :-)

Tears from the Gods

2012-01-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

Day four of 21! I had someone show me how to do the weight machines tonight so that I can build upper body strength. Boy have the machines changed since the last time I was at a gym!

I have had to really change my mind set which this commitment to work out. I resented the fact that my time was consumed after work with something I really didn't want to do but knew I needed to do. After awhile that wore off and I just stopped going. I wanted my ME time more than the weight loss. I have had to change my focus to understand that the weekdays are devoted to work. Working my job, working on my body, in turn working on my mind. If I devote the week to that then the weekends are devoted to things I really love to do. Being with family, hanging out with friends, playing on my laptop and watching t.v....whatever it is that I want to do......when the weather gets better that will include road trips on the weekends.

It has helped immensely as well that my co-workers all work out as does my roommate. It keeps me motivated and focused. They will encourage me and goad me to get er' done :-)

Today was another very rainy and windy day. We had a lake in the parking lot again and there is suppose to be more of that for most of the week. By the weekend we are suppose to see sun and no rain. God I hope the weather people are right on this one. I am sick of grey skies and the water that falls from it!!

In with the new!!

2012-01-23T19:51:00.000-08:00

Day three of twenty one: At the gym again tonight then grocery shopping after working all day. I am one tired puppy!! But that is good because sleep should not be so elusive now. I have also dropped 5 lbs. I know, I know, it is just my body adjusting but damn it, I'll take it right now.

Tomorrow both docs are gone, in surgery I'm sure, although I honestly can't remember :-) It means a quiet day at the office and for that I am thankful. We'll have 50 patients on Wednesday. I know that does not sound like a lot, but to an office that has two docs and one nurse practitioner who is only there half a day once a week....it's a lot.

The gym was ubber busy tonight. Everyone is still on their new years resolutions so they are out in force. I expect it will drop off in another month or so. I will not be one of those dropping off!! No sir, nuh uh, I'm in it for the long haul this time. I SO want to be able to wear cute clothes and not have to go to certain stores to find clothes that fit. I am looking forward to that. :-)

I am currently making dinner while the roomie is out coaching the special olympics kids. She does it every year and sez that they teach her more than she ever teaches them. I can believe that.

Nothing else happening, life goes one one moment at a time ... :-)

Blessed be everyone and have a wonderful week.

Mantras and manifestations

2012-01-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda proud of myself. I worked out both Saturday and Sunday. I joined Snap Fitness this past Friday so after work I will stop on my way home and work out. If I make it home I'll never go back out again. The gym is literally right behind my work.

I also will need to go grocery shopping with the roomie after I work out. It's been so nice to live with someone who is so much like me. We are both laid back and easy going. We love our kids and would do anything for them. We don't pry into each others business. We share what we want to. We are being very open and honest with each other so no issues go unresolved.

I didn't get to see the grandkids this weekend. They were suppose to stop by while they were in town but the daughter had a bad headache so they went straight home. That's o.k. I'll catch up with them soon. At some point I need to get over the mountain to see my Mom but the Cascade range has been hit hard with snow. 72" in 72 hours up there. Beautiful but not nice driving conditions.

We had the saddest tragedy happen here in town. We have gotten lots and lots of rain so flooding in the creeks and canals has been prevalent. There was a car with a 25 yr old male, his 5 yr old son, a 18 yr old female and her 20 month old son in it and they inadvertently drove into a canal. The water level in the parking lot was equal with the canal and he could not tell it was there. It was night time and I don't believe there were from the area and familiar with the layout of the parking lot. Anyway, the 25 yr old father was able to get out of the car, broke a window to drag his son out while other people who saw the crash attempted to pull the girl and her son out. They weren't able to before the car was sucked into a culvert that went under 800 ft of roadway. The bodies of the baby and his mama were found the next day. The father and his five year old son are up at OHSU in Portland. They are both in bad shape and not sure if they will survive or not. It was a very sad situation.

I know we are not the only town touched by tragedy but it sure does hit home when it happens close to home.

I have taken Jules mantra to heart and every night before I go to bed I tell myself "Live moment by moment", over and over again. It has truly been helping.

Do your dreams ever expire.....................??????????

2012-01-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

How long do you hold onto dreams?

I thought one day I would own my own home. I have come to realize that it will not happen. Not because it is not possible but rather because the lifestyle I have chosen to pursue does not make it feasible.

Moving around, the desire for travel, and a lack of desire to be tied down to one place, has fairly eliminated the need for a permanent home.

My desire and wish has always been to travel when and where I can while I have the means to do so. I have no retirement plan to speak of and will most likely live off of Social Security when I get to the right age. I have no fears about that outcome. It will simply be what it is.

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring so I plan on taking advantage of each one I am given. I do not want to look back on my life with 'what if's'. I want to know I did everything I could to make my wants come to life.

Tons and tons of fun

2012-01-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

We have a beautiful landscape covered in pristine white. The gkids are outside enjoying it right now. It is a good wet snow so perfect for snowball fights! May be too wet for a snowman, not to mention I'm not sure there is enough snow out there. We've got maybe an inch. I am in Forest Grove today and have to drive home a bit later but it will be well worth it. By the time I go the road crews will have the freeway nice and clear. Plus we do get enough snow here that people are reasonably sane while driving in it.

I have very much enjoyed spending the weekend with my daughter's family. It is busy and chaotic but in a very good way. I got some quality time with my daughter, the kids have not been overly needy, and it's been a joy.

I got the report from my roommate that Tigger is adjusting just fine without me and has 'adopted' her while I'm gone. That makes me happy. When I first moved in I had placed my dresser mirror on the floor in the hallway until I decided what I wanted to do with it. Every morning on my way to work he would sit by the mirror and look at the other kitty, sitting right next to 'him'. I felt so guilty about leaving him alone. He gets lonely but I know if I got him another kitty to keep him company his nose would be twisted out of shape for quite some time.

A quick update for now. I hope you all enjoy our Sunday as much as I am.

It only gets better from here

2012-01-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

I recently met a woman who struggled in the first half of her life. She decided that the second half of her life was going to be spent in luxury. She sold everything she owned and is now living in a resort. Paying an amount in rent that is VERY reasonable. It includes all of her utilities plus living on the coast, plus all of the amenities of the resort. I could not afford to pay what she is but if I were to get two or three people together to share the cost...........it is so very doable.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be even better. The weekend will be awesome.

Sometimes all you have to do is ask

2012-01-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

I prayed on my way to work this morning that God would make the day go by quickly and smoothly. Jackpot on each request.

If you don't feel like you don't fit in somewhere, do you not fit in or do you just feel like you don't fit in?

I have become very systematic about work the older I have gotten. I used to invest everything I had into my job. I can't remember even once that practice rewarding me. So now, I do my job. It is only a job, it does not define who I am. I go in early, don't clock in until it's time, as you can get written up and fired for overtime; I leave right on the dot in the evening, no matter what is going on. Tonight my co-worker was in with the super and it was time for me to go home. I gave them 10 minutes then called her to let her know I was headed out the door and did she want me to lock the doors and forward the phones.......I don't get paid to give my all either financially or personally. It is a job, one that I like fortunately, but again, it is not who I am. It is a means to an end.

I got the final accounting on my move out and turns out I get all most all of my deposit back...yay me!! It will help to go to my Mom's for her 71st birthday this weekend. Time to get out of town anyway. It's been too long since I've left the area. Stir crazy begins to describe what I feel. I just can't stay in the same place very long....gotta move....gotta experience....gotta adventure out.

I did not go join the gym tonight as my goal was to hit the post office before it closed at 5, but I forgot my keys at home....ggrrrrrrrr.........ended up going to the old Landlord's instead where I heard the good news. So...tomorrow (since I've got the keys in my pocket now) I will go to the P.O. to turn in the keys and finally get my address forwarded. On my lunch break tomorrow I'll head to the gym and sign up. If things go as I plan. I may have to fork out money upfront and then work reimburses me after I've gone 60 times.....1/2 of what I pay, then at the end of the year if I've continued to go I get the other 1/2. I, unfortunately, cannot afford to do it that way. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. More prayers for God to answer. Surely the small ones are the easiest? Don't answer that :-)

I stopped by my son's on the way home tonight and they have the cutest baby kitten for his gf's daughter. It is a 7 wk old cream colored tabby. Her name is Nala. I just wanted to scoop her up and bring her home. LOVE kittins!! One thing I'll never understand is how people can smoke in their house, with the windows shut, with children, and while pregnant. I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, understand this no matter how many times you tell me. With all of the scientific data on how much it harms people, how can you do that? Silly as it seems I feel badly for the poor kitten having to breath in all of that smoke. Poor baby kitty.

I am at home now, have bills to pay, but as you can see I'm not really into it at the moment...hehehehehe

O.k.........I'm going......geez,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

And the saga continues....................

2012-01-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I slept in today, it is Sunday after all. Received a text message from my Roomie that she will be arriving in Portland around 5, if the flight is on time, and then an hour drive home. The house is in order pretty much. I cleaned last night so that she can come home to her house as she left it. I am looking forward to the company so it should be a nice evening.

No plans for the day other than unpacking a few more boxes and trying to find a place for everything. I have been attempting to feng shui my bedroom but it is so small and there are two doors to deal with. Your bed should be as far away from the door as possible. It should not be under a window. You should not have a mirror that reflects your bed. You should be able to see the bedroom door from your bed. Many guidelines to follow. I'm sure there have to be ways to offset what can't be done but I've not explored that as of yet. Right now it's more finding a place for everything. All of my clothes are still in the suitcases, so that is a project to get done today, putting them away. I also need to unpack a few more boxes of books and such to put on the bookshelves. You are not suppose to have plants in your room especially if they are not healthy and thriving. That's a problem...lol......Roomie has NO plants in her house so I don't know if she does not like them or if she has a black thumb. I could move the plant out if she has no objection to it. That's a conversation to be had later.

Went to KFC for lunch today and got me some popcorn chicken and tigger one of their grilled chicken breasts. He was in heaven. Plenty left over for another meal as well. He is so spoiled! I guess he deserves it as a senior citizen :-)

I hope you all have a wonderful day and a blessed Sunday.

Settling in

2012-01-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

I got the bedroom semi arranged today. I need more storage room. A lot of it is going to have to go out in the garage, which won't hurt it. But some of it I'm not quite sure where to place it. The room is SO small and the roomies decorating style is sparse. She has a few things on the walls but seems to lean towards metals and ocean themes.

We'll have to see how it works out. I'm sure I'll be rearranging again before it's all said and done.

She comes home tomorrow after having been gone a week. Tonight will be spent tidying up some. Breaking boxes down, sweeping, a bit of vacuuming, and should be good to go.

How long can I hide from her that I'm a slob? hehehehe

Off and running to parts unknown

2012-01-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

I've made a life changing move. I am now sharing a house with another female which is allowing me to save money. I have been in a rut; existing in my life rather than living it. It is time to change that.

My goal is to be on the road to discovering the world one trip at a time. I have signed up on a sight called "Housecarers.com". You can go anywhere in the world. Time frames vary from short term to long term. What a way to see the world! There is another site that is actually for stewards of property. Again, you can go anywhere in the world for any length of time.

As most of these don't pay you, it is a room and board kinda deal, I have to get my ducks in a row first. Part of my plan is to visit places I would like to live so that I can get a good handle on the area. It is one thing to 'dream' of a place and it's reality, vs the reality of the reality.

I am going to be joining a gym tomorrow. Work pays for it so I might as well take advantage of the benefit. Get up, get moving, so I can enjoy the places I'll be traveling to. Healthy is best!

Are we friends?

2011-11-28T20:38:00.000-08:00

What is a friend? By Websters definition:

1. A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.
2. An associate who provides cooperation or assistance.
3. A person with whom you are acquainted.

We call those we work with friends. Those we befriend here in the blogesphere. Those who we know on a very superficial level.

I would call someone I work with a co-worker. There are a few whom I would call friend. If I hang out with them outside the workplace. If we have a lot in common and are able to have friendly conversations. If I trust them, and they trust me enough to share pieces of their lives. Clues as to who they are and what is important to them.

Those I meet here I would call friend. Most of us have never met, never spoken in person, yet somehow have allowed ourselves to bond. Whether that has been through life experience, sharing pieces of who we are, or simply feeling accepted in an environment and atmosphere of camaraderie and sameness.

How accepting are we of each other truly? Would you invite them to sleep on your couch? To vacation in your home town? To meet your family without fear of harm?

What connects you to others?

If you read this blog I would really love to hear your opinion. Enlighten me :-)

Bodies and fiends

2011-11-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

The weekend has been dull, boring, full of nothingness, which means lots of sleep. Too much sleep. It will be difficult getting back into the routine of work tomorrow. I had last week off to forget, think, and mull over what my next move might be. I have some ideas but nothing concrete as of yet. It's a big, scary, exciting world out there!!

This coming weekend my co-workers and I are going to Portland to see the Body Works exhibit. I am excited to see that. I wanted to see it when it was in Seattle but did not make it up there. They have a giraffe this year which should be extremely interesting to see. I can't imagine the process that took to get it plastinated. I can't wait to see inside a real human body. I've seen pictures but the real deal fascinates me. We are such complex creatures.

I got my living room vacuumed, dusted, and most of the crap that does not belong in it, put back in its place.

I will be starting to go through all of my papers to sort things out and downsize. I want most of what is important to me in my life to be able to fit into just a few boxes. Material things have never met much to me. Family and friends are my home.

I have been reading a book by Penelope Marzec, who's link is on my list of blogs. Fascinating book. It is called The Black Fiend of White Buck Manor. I highly recommend it.

It was a dark and stormy night

2011-11-24T20:07:00.000-08:00

The buffalo were huddled round the feeding trough, head to head forming a secure circle to withstand the wind and rain. There was still a bit of daylight when I reached the highway that led towards McMinnville and home. The wind was playing havoc on my ability to keep the car on the straight and narrow. Rain was coming down in a sideways torrent that brought visibility down to a quarter mile or less. I was hoping to make good progress before I lost the daylight completely. Darkness and rain are not well tolerated by my failing night vision. The rural roads which connect many of the small towns between there and here, have faded yellow divider lines, and almost obscure white shoulder lines. The first small town I reached was Yamhill. I remember thinking I didn't know there was a town called Yamhill, rather I thought it was simply a county. Being a holiday, small town America was quiet with no humanity visible at all. It was a nasty night to be out and I'm sure they were all hunkered down in their homes enjoying Turkey and family. A few of the buildings had Christmas lights around the window frames, giving the dark streets a bit of light and a reminder that not all was abandoned. The dark old town facades faded as the road led out of town and onto the next small town of Carlton. It too had the sidewalks rolled up and there was no sign of humanity in the torrential downpour and wind. A few of the houses had a soft welcoming yellow light beckoning through windows. I am sure those inside were thankful for a warm place to escape the storm. Once again out of town there was a female with a backpack running alongside the road. Hurrying from one place to the other? Out hitchhiking? I have no idea what her mission or intent was, however I do know she was soaked to the bone and I'm betting pretty darned cold. There was little traffic on the road which was both a blessing and a curse. I was able to take my time without feeling hurried but also felt isolated in the dark and stormy night. (Thank you Snoopy). Once I hit McMinnville I was not happy to see that Corvallis was still 45 miles away. I looked forward to the speed limit signs as they gave me an opportunity to slow down and get my bearings before another car came upon me at a speed that demanded I accelerate beyond my comfort zone. There were portions of the highway that had the nice reflective yellow and white lane lines. It made it so much easier to stay on the right path. Why they do not have those on all highways here in the valley area I'll never know. The type of weather I was driving in tonight is very common for this area, especially in the winter time. I finally reached Monmouth which brought with it a break in the weather and a much easier drive the rest of the way home. I had a wonderful time with my daughter and her family but am happy to be home in my own little haven.

Grab those britches and get on with our life

2011-11-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

Wow, what downer I've been!! Yeesh, no wonder there are only a few followers and comments. Let's pick this baby up shall we??

Think positive, let the good times roll, envision a life you want and it shall be yours. Yes!!

I am contemplating a change of scenery and pace. A major change up in my life. I am tired of working for someone else, being at their mercy as far as how I spend my life and how many hours I give them. I want to be my own keeper. I say when I rise in the mornings and what I do with my days. I decide if I'm doing a good job or not. It is the works and I have a couple of leads I'm following. We will see what things new and interesting crop up in my life. I am tired, tired, tired of the rain and cold. I want sunshine and warmth!! Time to make what I want happen. No one else will do it for me. Hell yeah!!

The floor is damned hard

2011-11-16T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have been brought to my knees. Humbled in a way that has not happened in a very, very long time. My confidence and ego have both plummeted to the very earth. Everything I held my gauge of excellence to has reached rock bottom. My self confidence and assurance that I knew what I was doing is balancing on a precipice and could teeter either way. My mind is on a tread mill that I cannot get off of. Questioning everything I held true. Determining if I am in the right place at the right time. Am I on the right path? I have always believed that if you are on the right path you should not have to fight to make things work. Struggle yes, ups and downs yes, but fight tooth and nail, no. I believe that of love, moves, careers, whatever it may be. It will flow if it is right. Things are not flowing for me; rather I'm in a mire that wears me down with each step I take attempting to free myself. Where do I belong?

...........................yes?

2011-11-08T17:26:00.000-08:00

OMG what a day. Yesterday was just as bad. Often times two of us on the phones is just not enough.

The weather continues to be soggy here. I have to admit the autumn colors against the gray sky are absolutely stunning. There is good in everything......yes?

I don't do much these days. I go to work, work hard, then come home and veg. My favorite hobbies at the moment are reading and playing online. What a life eh? But it's MY life so there *sticks out her tongue*. Mature .........yes?

What else can I tell you? I watch the commercials on TV for Lowe's and when the paint section comes on I look around my living room and go hmmmmmmmmmm. I am in need of some heavy drapes to put over the living room windows and kitchen sliders. I'm sure more of the heat will remain in the house when I do. I have a townhouse style apartment so I've shut up both the bedrooms and bathroom to help heat the downstairs. I love to sleep cold, so I'm not bothered by a cold bedroom. I can't say the same for my son. Perhaps I'll have to invest in a heating blanket for him. I swear he stays cold ALL the time. I have enough fat on me to help insulate. Again, good in everything.......yes?

As winter sets in I am getting the writing bug again. I may have to settle down in the evenings and hammer out some short stories or something. It would be an anomaly to actually finish a story. Usually I'm good for a few short paragraphs and that's it. Perseverance..........yes?

Gnashing of teeth

2011-11-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my grandson's first birthday. I have not seen him in weeks and it does not look like that situation is going to change any time soon. I wanted to get him a gift so he would know his Grandma had not forgotten about him. I ended up not getting him anything material because there was simply no way to get it to him. The confines of a restraining order. The best I can give him is my love, my prayers, and my heartfelt desire to see him again. This was a path I feared when my son told me he was going to be a Daddy. His intentions were pure; I'm just not sure he truly thought the whole situation through thoroughly. There is a possibility he has another child out there. A little girl. With each new piece of information that tears at my heart, there is a lesion that forms with no hope of healing. To care too much is not a blessing in and of itself. Sometimes it's just easier to build the blocks that stop the hurt. But hurt brings character and a chance for hope and happiness to bloom in the wasted field of scars. It appears easier to hide behind the walls when in reality there is so much life you miss out on. Feeling is a better option than not feeling at all. What is more intoxicating than joy and love? We all learn the hard way that a broken heart will not kill us physically but can oft times strip us of life spiritually. Take the chance. Enjoy the joy. Remember the old saying; You cannot appreciate the highs without the lows.

My hope is that someday the situation will rectify itself and I'll have the answers he needs when the time comes.

Extreme Makeover

2011-11-06T12:18:00.000-08:00

So far today has been pleasant. Took advantage of the 'fall back' and slept a little longer. Am currently doing laundry and some time today will do dishes and clean this 'ole house.

I am thinking of taking in a room mate after the first of the year. From everything I hear the economy is not done tanking yet and I don't want to be caught in the crunch when it happens. Time to prepare.

I was watching someone extreme coupon today and I need to do that. I need to learn how to do that. There are all kinds of video's on YouTube and such. Time to learn a new skill :-)

Evil personified

2011-11-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

Kit Kat bars are made of crack. I can't eat just one. Halloween candy is from the devil. Really.............

What a waste of my time

2011-11-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

I decided to go clothes shopping today, even though I don't have the money to do so and something won't get paid, probably my rent, but I'm tired of going to work looking like a rag-a-muffin. I only have two pairs of dress pants. One pair the zipper refuses to stay closed so I'm constantly, discretely, zipping it up. The other pair has stains and picks and all kinds of stuff wrong with them but they are all I have.

I initially was going to go to Fashion Bug. They have the cutest clothes and in my size to boot. They had gone out of business. WTH???

So we headed to the Mall. It's not really a mall, but it's called a mall. Most of the shops are gone now due to the economy. I had not been in it in quite some time and was shocked at how little is left in it. We went into Target but their selection was almost non existent. They have never had a very big Women's section (a.k.a. fat girl clothes) but now it looks like they are fazing it out completely. So, we headed to Ross's Dress For Less. Are you kidding me?? They had NOTHING. Lots of shirts.....I don't need shirts, I need pants. So then on to Sears we went. Same kinda deal. No slacks at all except the elastic wasted ones that are like granny pants. Ummm, no thank you. I want something that is not that icky polyester. I H.A.T.E. polyester!! Not to mention I'd have to cut about six inches off just to get them to fit in length. Fat and petite. Bad mix. Equals difficult fix.

So I came away from that little shopping expedition, that was a waste of two hours of my life, with nothing. Son on the other hand came out with a nice fleece jacket for winter since his ex ~~stole~~, errrrr, I mean lost his nice leather jacket.

I will try Big K, formerly K-Mart, tomorrow. I NEED clothes!!! How frustrating.

I may have to break down and shop online but I don't like not being able to try them on. That means sending them back and trying again. Not my idea of a fun time. Shopping should be fun......right??!!

Turn those pockets inside out................

2011-10-31T18:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here with my computer on in a very quiet house waiting for the munchkins to show up and eat the candy I bought. Not too much to ask....right?

We had some rainstorms today. The kind where it sounds like the roof is going to explode any moment. I love the aftermath of those storms. The vivid blues, reds, yellows, and greens of the landscape. At no other time are the colors so pure. Something about the way the sun plays in and about the clouds that bring out those rich tones. No photograph or painting can capture colors that pure.

I've committed myself to the March of Dimes here in Corvallis. I must raise $1,000 by Wednesday or spend the day in 'jail' calling in favors and begging for freedom :-) I've never done it before so I'm kinda looking forward to it. I get free lunch, which is nice, and only have to stay an hour. I am going to post the website at the bottom so you can 'bail me out' if you so desire to contribute. Let's hope it works :-)

http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/justice97801

Don't let them take meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...................................

Sunday Cunundrum

2011-10-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as luck? Or is there some cosmic plan that determines where our lives go? The twists and turns and ups and down of life. How much is cosmic intervention and how much is free will? These are the questions that pit Christians against other beliefs and spiritualists. Is there a deity that determines our path? Is Witchcraft, Buddhism, and the Native American belief in spirits wrong? Is it possible that they are all in one and all inclusive. Does one have to be right and the others wrong? Do you think that God, or whatever you call him cares WHAT we call him and long as we honor him and understand HE/SHE or both is the one in charge? Doesn't he dictate the air, water, sky, wind, etc., anyway? Whether you believe in spirits or ghosts or demons, isn't it all part and partial? If we can't explain the unexplainable does that mean it does not exist? Aliens, ghosts, you pick the phenomenon. True or not? And does it really matter to anyone but ourselves?

There's a hole in my pocket dear Liza

2011-10-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

Friday was a crappy ass day. Let's just say that something happened at work that is a first for me, and not in a good way. I'm going to have to figure something out to make the system work for me. My memory just does not seem to be at its best these days and things come and go in my brain like water through a sieve. I've got to figure out how to plug some of those holes.

One of the docs and I have come to an understanding with each other so our working relationship should flow more easily now. In part it is figuring out personalities and what buttons not to push. Expectations are high and I've always prided myself on being at the top of my game. Getting older sucks.

I sometimes feel as if I am being told the same thing over and over and over again. I second guess myself and ask more questions than I probably should be after four months on the job. Thank God my co-worker is very, very patient. There is some conflict as to what my supervisor tells me to do and what my co-worker has me do. On the one hand I don't want to get her in trouble but on the other I don't want to get in trouble either.

On a busy clinic day we have at least 35 patients in the course of 6 hours. That's checking patients in and out (which with new patients includes taking their picture, scanning documents, and making sure their paperwork is completed), doing the paperwork, charts, and reminder phone calls for the next day, checking patients out, doing lab orders, making new patient appts, answering the phone, problem solving, and so many other things. It's no wonder I forget stuff. I can blame it on that rather than getting older......right??

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

2011-10-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

O.k., so that title has nothing to do with this post but it was floating around in my head so I just had to do something with it :-)

Today was a blessedly fast day. We were swamped at work which inevitably makes the time fly. It was lunch time before we knew it and one of the drug reps purchased lunch for us. I love those drug reps. Then it was off to the hospital to drop off surgery orders and pick up a little snack in the cafeteria, which I just remembered as I am writing this, is still out in the car. Be right back!!

Mmmm mmm mmmm, apple fritter. Nothing better.

Anyway, when I got back to work I only had an hour and a half left before quittin' time. Before I knew it, it was time to leave. When I hit town I drove down the waterfront just because I could and I'd never done it before. Nothing special. I mean, it's pretty enough, because well, it's the waterfront. It would be prettier to get out and walk. Which I didn't because it was cold, and well, I just wanted to get home. I love my house. My own little sanctuary. Besides Tigger expects me at a certain time to serve him his dinner. He's be pissy if he had to wait, cause heaven forbid he should have to wait a little while longer. Nothin' spoiled about that cat. I mean, I go without before he does. I can always ask friends and family for support but I don't think he has any kitty friends to go ask for help. Unless he's having kitty bashes when I'm at work. Hmmmm........maybe I should put one of those panda cams in my house and see what really goes on...............Paranoid??? moi??????

I joined a dating site for three months or so. So far there have been a few decent contacts but overall? Not so much. I am keeping my options open and trying not to be too picky. I mean a free meal and some company, now that would be nice. O.k...maybe not free meal...I would go Dutch. What are the rules of dating these days? I've not had much experience at it. I dated some in high school (read few) and a few while I was in the Navy (again read few). I'm not much for playing the field. Or wasn't. Maybe I should start eh? Or am I too old to play the field? * Visual: Leann out on a baseball field with her walker chasing all the cute young men, smacking her lips because she forgot to put her dentures in* I crack myself up.........lol.........

Drop your drawers and sing hallelujah

2011-10-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Good evening chicas!! Today has been a Monday. Up too early, much to my chagrin. I thought I had to take someone *clears her throat* to an appointment but turns out I was left out of that loop. Oh well, off to work I went and got some stuff started at work before I could even clock in. Overtime is absolutely forbidden right now. Our company is feeling the crunch of the economy and looking for ways to stabilize. I am glad I am in the health care field. Even being a specialty clinic we have more patients/potential patients than we can handle. Our established doc is booked out at least 7 weeks and more often than not he is double booked. The new doc is booked our a few weeks right now but building his client base quickly. I feel badly for some people as they have to wait quite some time to be seen. Especially those men who have, oh how to put this delicately, ball pain. Different reasons, different causes. We see some vasectomies but not as many as I would have expected. Both the docs are surgeons as well so the established one is only in clinic two days a week, if that, and the new one has three clinic days a week, for now. As he builds he will get more surgery blocks, so less clinic time. There is never a dull moment. Our clientele is interesting. Mostly the elderly, but sometimes the young.

It was all I could do to stay busy today. Tomorrow will be worse as neither of the docs are in. Wednesday is half days as they are both in surgery in the a.m., and Thursday is a nightmare. Friday is back to both docs gone. Such is my day.

Humpty Dumpty

2011-10-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Fall and all of its beautiful colors has arrived. Even the smell of Fall is here. When I opened the door last week to go to work, the first thought that hit my brain was "It's October". Simply because of the way the air felt. I love Fall. The warmth has been consistent and the rain scarce. We will see what Halloween brings. It is almost always raining on Halloween night. It makes it icky for the kiddos out trying to bring in the candy loot.

My life has been pretty consistent lately which is nice. No huge surprises or drama. That in itself is a huge plus. I have not seen the grandkids for almost three weeks now. Unfortunately they don't have time to stop and visit on the weekends they come to pick up M. My house is kid ready but unfortunately does not get test driven much. :-)

Living with the son is interesting. He is here but not here. He is as much a recluse as I am, altho I think he may be worse. He is happy to stay home and play his games online and veg. He has a new girlfriend and that has mellowed his moods some. We are still working on getting set visitation with Jaden. She makes it difficult and is very rigid about times and dates. Don't let life happen......it throws a kink in everything.

We get to dress up for Halloween at work which will be fun. I'm sure I'll do the Goth thing again this year. It's simple and easy. Remember that rant I went on last year due to the way I looked in the Halloween pictures? Yeah, well I look even worse now. The heavier I get the less motivation I have but I know that I need to get up and move. Where's the person with the cattle prod that is suppose to be behind me? It's sad that I can't rely on myself to get motivated. That sez a lot about me right there.

As the actors say when reading a script..........what is my motivation?

One liners

2011-10-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

Reflection. Who does not take the time to do so every now and again? Sometimes the answer is so simple it blows the mind that it took so long to reach it. Other times it is a journey. It pops up in your mind over a span of time; a thought that occurs to you when you don't have the time to contemplate the answer, or work through the puzzle. Then suddenly, through that process, an epiphany with the answer, like a gentle breeze, pushes through your grey matter and the answer has arrived.

Insightfulness. That process of self discovery. Making the journey to find out who you are, what makes you tick, what gives you joy, what makes you sad, and most importantly, what fulfills you. For if you are not fulfilled, if even by the tiniest occurrence, your life seems empty and devoid of purpose.

True fulfillment. That my friends is a lifetimes journey.

Busy, Busy, Busy. Imagine the villian from Frosty the snowman saying it... ha!

2011-10-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today has been a very productive one. Most often I plan my days out and then feel very disappointed when I don't get it accomplished. Today it just flowed. I knew there were things I thought about doing but also wanted the day to be restful for me. I started by cleaning out the bookshelves and arranging them in such a way that it did not look like a tornado had torn through the living room and deposited things willy nilly. I strung Christmas lights around the mirrors on my accent wall (You all know how I love Christmas lights :-) The corner stays so dark and with the door to the closet under the stairwell, well, it was difficult to come up with a viable solution. I like it. I also got my Halloween decorations, few that they are, and put them around the house. I think I'll stay home on Halloween this year and actually enjoy the trick or treaters. Do they still come round or are they a thing of the past? It has been so many years since I've been on the delving out of candy end of things. I also realized as I was putting up the decorations that my daughter has depleted my supply. She loves Halloween. It is her favorite holiday. I try and get her something every year to add to her collection. I also went through my closet and pulled out all of the clothes I cannot/or choose not to, wear. Goodwill or perhaps the Gape house will get quite a few. In that process I also realized how stark my wardrobe truly is. I have two pairs of dress pants and two dress shirts. Two sweaters. That's it. It is time to go clothes shopping. Do you hear me money gods??!! I accomplished getting all of my laundry done and put away. The last quilt is in the machine now. I also re-set up my shelves in the linen closet and went through and sorted items. I hate those shelves. The little shelve holder doohickies are too short to hold the shelves securely and if they are not in just the right place they fall down, tumbling all of the linens and towels down onto the floor. Big GGRRRRRR. My kitchen is clean and re-arranged, the fish tank is clean, and I even had time to watch a movie in between and I didn't get up until 11:00 a.m. (Don't judge me :-) My plan for the night is to catch up on some shows, see if the Beavers won their game today, and then...........I have no idea. Tomorrow I hope to find all of my photos and get them framed and up on the walls. I need more frames and I have lots of pics I want to print off that I have personally taken, that it would be nice to get framed. Again, hello money Gods...lol. Earlier today there was a big white dog in the middle of the street. He looked like my friend's wolf/malamute mix. He was all white. I was out in the yard whistling to him to try and get him out of the street. All he did was bark at me. Traffic was stopped and a few people were out trying to wrangle him but he was very skittish. A police officer showed up like one minute later and went in search of him. Someone was fast on the draw and the officer must have been in the area. I hope they found his owner, and/or took him to a safe place. Well, I am off my friends to enjoy the evening. Blessed be each and every one of you.

Reflections

2011-10-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I've written anything here, and quite honestly I'm not sure that anyone even comes here anymore. I'm not sure it even matters. Somehow it just does not seem to be as important.

Life has been interesting. And not interesting in a good or bad way, just.....interesting.

I often find myself coming here and wondering what of my life should I write. There are times when deep and thoughtful hit me. Other times when the ludicrous seems to reign. Such is life.

I listen to a comedy station every morning and evening during my drive to work. I have been attempting to employ the philosophy that laughter heals and cures the soul. My work days are wonderful, fast paced, and always interesting. We are a small but tight knit group. They choose carefully who they put together and it works.

I am getting to the point where I feel I am ready to meet someone. I refuse to take the scary venture into the internet world for a companion. I have put the word out to family and friends that I am open to the possibility. We will see how that works out. I have faith.

I look around my little place and realize at times how much I love it. I have decided to decorate it in a way that reflects who I am, who and what is important to me, things that have meaning in my life. It will be very eclectic but a valid reflection.

Ramblings. For those of you who remain, or wander by, that you for taking the time. Blessed be friends.

Two plus Two

2011-09-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

This has been a weekend of house sitting. Not only do I have the dogs this weekend but I also have the two teens. They are truly good kids. I am sure they are good because I don't live with them :-) I hear stories from their Mom but I also know their mom.........nuff said.

We had our company picnic yesterday which was.....I'm not even sure which word to use to describe it. It was our first company picnic as the clinic has only been open a year. Everyone showed which is nice since there are only 8 of us including the docs. It was a cool day for a picnic and I think we should do it earlier in the Summer. Not many of them are family people. As in no children. They are young and just getting started. As with me, there are also a few where kids have left home and so they are once again a childless couple. I was the only one who showed up alone which was kind of awkward. But I am used to it. When asked where my 'gang' was, my reply is "You're looking at it". :-)

Today will be filled with getting the girls to get their chores done before their parents get home. I have no idea when that will be, but I suspect early afternoon. We have all slept late, not getting up until 10 a.m. or better. We are a lazy bunch.

It is once again cool here. Cooler than I would like since we only had two weeks of Summer. I miss Summer.

Time Moves On

2011-09-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

There have been lots of changes in my world since I last posted. Time has moved on at times, in a fashion I would rather put a stop to. There have been tears of sadness, the laughter that comes with happiness, and the angst of not knowing what comes next.

Being in limbo is not a place I am comfortable in. I would like to have definitive answers to the questions I hold in my head. Whether it be about my life or others. When it is someone close to you, you feel their pain as if it is your own. I have cried more this past month than I can honestly say, in years.

Time moves on and the days dance by one by one. Some at a crawl, others at warp speed. For those that crawl I would like to ask that you speed up just a smidge, for those that flash by, please slow down. Life is a gift, stop and enjoy the moments.

I have not seen any of the grandkids for over a month now and I miss them. Their joy is contagious and their hugs priceless.

Here's to better times *a toast to you all*

The Dirty Downlow

2011-08-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

The hearing for the restraining order was yesterday. My expectation was that the hearing would be 15 or 20 minutes. Boy did I call that one wrong! It took an hour to get it all resolved. My son only contested the custody piece of the restraining order rather than the validity as well. He figured out the hard way yesterday afternoon what that cost him.

My son went to court in a nice pair of slacks, dress shirt and a tie. He showed the utmost respect for the court. Biatch showed up in nasty ole black stretch pants, a red shirt that sunk much too low and had a hole in it, and her hair up in a pony tail. Not much respect seen there.

She was taken by surprise because she thought she would be able to get on the witness stand and go on and on about how violent he was and how he was a danger to her, the kids, and others. BS!!!! Anyway, the judge stopped her in her tracks and asked her why she thought she was the better parent and should have custody. Her response was less than truthful, but whatch'a gonna do? The judge asked her what medications he was on and why. She had no idea. She came across as the ignorant uneducated ho she is.

My son got on the stand and sank her ship. He told the judge about her marijuana use, his UA that was clean the night they split when she told the police he had been smoking. Not. He also told the judge about her buying narcotics on the street. The judge asked my son what meds she took and why and he was able to answer every question to the fullest. I was very proud of him.

The judge brought her back up on the stand, gave her the Miranda rights and explained that there were several crimes that had been committed per my son's testimony. He told her at any time she could invoke her right to refuse to answer. She should have taken that to heart. She told the judge that she had relapsed (from her PCSII conviction) and that she had only smoked marijuana and not used narcotics. She made a mistake and should have taken notice. The judge looked at her and told her that yes, she should have. SCORE!! She then told him that she had cleaned the house from top to bottom to get rid of all the stuff. ALL the stuff??!! The judge just looked at her.

For now she gets to keep Jaden in her custody but the judge will be making a report to DHS and giving the DA the criminal information. With the possession charge she got, the filing a false police report charge, and now this, I am hoping more than a reasonable person should that her ass goes back to jail. That ensures my son gets his son.

The standard visitation was given to Kevin and he tried to invoke it last night but she refused to comply. I told him to give her a few days to come to terms with what happened, try to get Jaden for the weekend and if she does not comply then we'll file a contempt order with the court. She needs to learn right quick and in a hurry that we're not effin' around. I believe she is ignorant enough that it's gonna take a couple of contempt orders to get her attention.

By the time we walked out of court I was almost in tears. I had a good feeling when we went into court and hope there is follow thru. I was also more tense and stressed about it than I thought I was. Thus the tears.

Unfortunately, as I said before, it's gonna be a long ugly road, but I really don't think she knows who she is dealing with. My children have always been taught to stand up and fight for what they want. Don't just roll over and take it. I can say that they both fight. Their father was a police officer and I worked in the legal field for 6 years. Together we have a pretty good background to help them out when necessary.

Time will tell. It is definitely on our side.

Get thee behind me you total nonconformist piece of daylight

2011-08-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

What an incredibly crappy day. It's not that anything really went wrong it just seemed that nothing really went right. The groove was gone. The day felt like a mish mash of broken pieces all trying to fit into a puzzle that had round edges. Not fun. Whiny people. People who did not want to pay the price of a specialist. Really?? Do you truly expect to get into see a specialist within the week? And not have to pay an exorbitant cost for it?? And have no follow up care?? I don't know what world you live in but that is exactly what I expect when I contact a specialist. But I'd rather live in your world. Except my expectations would constantly be a bone of contention. Realist or optimist, no matter, reality is reality.

One thing led to another that was interrupted by yet another and then that huge square peg was placed right in the middle of my round day. Well hell.

I have to go grocery shopping tonight. I don't wanna go grocery shopping tonight. I HATE grocery shopping. I am a poor shopper. I know what I want, I go get it, be damned the price, and run out of the store with my head down and tracking to the car. I wonder if it would be worth the price to have a personal shopper. Probably not. I still have to make decisions about what I want. I'm a mess.

I get to leave after work tomorrow and head up to Forest Grove to watch the grandkids while their parents go and have a good time. I'll be having a good time too, just in a different way. They want to get away from the kids, I want to be with them. Right up until the parents get back. Then I'll be ready to go home.........and sleep...........and prepare for another week at work. Ugghhhh.

Tomorrow is the hearing for the restraining order. It's gonna be nasty. And I hope the judge tells her to get a life. And be a good mother to her kids. And let my son see his child. Bitch.

My filter is turned off. Have you noticed?

In the grand scheme of things life sends you interesting messeges

2011-08-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

One thing I can say for house sitting is that it gets me up earlier. Getting the dogs up, medicated, pottied, and settled back down is a chore in and of itself.

It is so nice here. It is quiet, not far from the road really but because of the trees you don't hear it or see it. There is a good portion of woods out back and this morning I saw three bucks eating off of the tree in the neighbors yard. They are a beautiful dark buckskin brown. One was a bit older as he had a four point rack on him and the other two had just begun to 'sprout' branches on their horns.
They jumped the neighbors fence with such ease. Beautiful and graceful creatures.

The people I am house sitting for broke down in Washington. They were driving a Honda Goldwing with a sidecar for the kids and a trailer attached to the back. They believe it might be the alternator. It is a new bike so hopefully everything is still under warranty. Over all it does not sound like they had a good time. They will try and get back today by renting a car but it might be tomorrow. Either way I'm prepared. I went home yesterday and packed up enough belongings for a few days. I know the dogs miss them terribly so I hope they come home today.

I am tired, which seems to be the norm for me these days. Sleeping in someone else's bed with four dogs certainly does not help that at all. You become limited on how much you can toss and turn, and I seem to do a lot of that when I sleep.

I had best be going so I can potty the dogs again before I leave for work. I hope everyone has a happy and blessed day.

Orilous vomitous

2011-08-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

I love my children and grandchildren. Really. But. Sometimes I could live without the drama that happens. I know life is full of drama, and I guess I've been so long without any in my life that it is extra stressful when I encounter it.

My son is getting divorced from his wife. She has taken out a restraining order based upon lies. I am under no false beliefs about my son. He is not innocent in all of this, it takes two to destroy a relationship. The accusations she makes on the restraining order do not even, in my opinion, warrant a restraining order. He has been unable to see his son for a week now. There is a hearing on Wednesday the 10th, to rebuke the order. I am hoping the judge sees through all of her bull shit and allows him to see his son. It's gonna get ugly because that's just who she is. She is a victim that never wants to NOT be a victim. That is sad.

So, there is the brunt of my stress for the moment. I will feel better once the hearing on Wednesday is done.

Thank you all for your positive thoughts, energy, and prayer.

There's a storm a brewin'

2011-08-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

So...... I am not moving. There are some family issues that need to be dealt with first. Stress and chaos seem to be raining for the moment. Lots of prayers going up to God and listening for answers. Yours would be greatly appreciated.

Generations

2011-07-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

What a long day! The trip to LePage park took about 2 1/2 hours. It was a beautiful drive. The sun was just coming up over the cliffs in the Columbia Gorge. The water of the Columbia River was so blue and calm. The colors popped. There were clouds as I transitioned from Troutdale to I-84 and there was a bit of a misty drizzle. Once I got beyond Rooster Rock the sky cleared and the rest of the drive was wonderful. I got there around 10:30 and most people were already there. Some arrived around noon or a bit after. I ate, chatted, took the kids swimming, chatted some more and then headed for home. The drive home was not as nice as it was very hot and a haze had built up from the heat. There was all kinds of road debris and I grazed some sheet metal that was crumpled in the fast lane. I was passing a semi so there was no where to go. It was a bit intense there for a moment.

It seems like there used to be more family. I was surprised at how few of us there were. There were several that could not make it so hopefully next year. As my daughter said, it seems like reunions are becoming a thing of the past. Part of it is that family no longer is born and raised in the same area like they used to be. Everyone is scattered far and wide. There are also not nearly as many children as there used to be. Family sizes have decreased.

It was a great time just a really long day.

Just blah

2011-07-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

The end of another week and I am no closer to moving my sh** than I was two weeks ago. I have given several things away and it's nice to have the space but the actual packing.......ya well that needs work.

It is my goal to get to that this afternoon. I'll start with the easy room, the kids bedroom/playroom. Not much left in there. Then on to my room where I need to pare some things down and probably make a run to Goodwill.

That is my intention....lately they don't mean much. I don't have any energy or motivation. None. I don't know why. I just don't. It seems I'm tired all the time. I know part of it is all of the weight I've put on. It drags a body down.

Tomorrow is the family reunion in the Columbia River Gorge and while I am looking forward to seeing family and know we'll have a great time, I have yet to decide what side dish or dessert I am taking.

Then Sunday it's more packing and beginning Monday, every day after work I'll be working on it.

So blah, there's my post and if my life ever gets any more interesting I'll post again. Or if some deep thought by chance stays in my head long enough to post about it, that will be here as well. :-)

Back to the wilds

2011-07-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

The camping trip was a huge success. We had SO much fun and got some wonderful pictures. There was good food, good company, and great hikes. We camped on the McKenzie River. I had not spent much time on that side of the pass over the Cascades, and still don't think it's as pretty as hwy 20, but there were some stunning sights.

This is Koosh falls. It was so beautiful. The water was a wonderful shade of blue.

A greeter at Koosh falls. He earned his keep by disposing of food handouts. He was quite good at his job.

The river coming down from Sahalish falls. The water was so powerful and moving so fast.

The river by our camping spot. We put our feet in after our hikes to cool them off. The water was ice cold. Straight off of the snow melt. It made our feet ache and we could not keep them there for more than a few seconds.

Whitewater around some downed logs on the McKenzie River.

Beautiful rainbows at the bottom of the falls.

Koosh falls on the McKenzie River.

Waterfall, rainbow, and I love this picture.

Buff that coal and shine those diamonds

2011-07-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

Gifts.

We all receive them but do we truly recognize and appreciate them?

The gift can be small or it can be large. It may be tangible or intangible. The pleasure in the getting is not knowing the size or type of gift.

Do you nourish it? Appreciate it? Lift it up and help it to be the best gift you can before it is reclaimed by the giver?

So many are given gifts that they look upon as burdens. Rather than shining it up they chip and tarnish the new finish that was upon it when it was new. In time that nice and shiny new gift becomes tarnished.

Many of those gifted might benefit from re-gifting. It would be for the best. For the giver and the gifted.

Take time to appreciate the smallest and simplest gifts. Often times they are the best ones.

6 degrees of seperation and a few genes

2011-07-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Pictures from our horseback riding adventures. I had a great time, I think the jury is still out for her. Her ride was being stubborn and it was a fight the entire way. Mine was just as bad but it was fun being on a horse again.

Learning to tie a lead rope.

Lori with her pony Sasha.

Lori on Sasha and I on Chief, our mighty steeds

A picture taken from my horse. You can see how much taller he was.

The place we went to rescues horses. The one I was riding is 20 plus years old. He harrumphed and complained as we left the arena but was pretty quick about settling into the ride. As we were in the trees he decided he needed to pee, which is not unusual when you put a rider on a horse's back. Anyway he peed while doing a "man this feels soooo good" kinda sound and then let out a very windy fart with an even bigger "sooo good sound". It was hilarious. No matter the animal, human included, males just are not all that different.

Let it all hang out

2011-07-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when your underthings (dedicates) showing was a highly embarrassing situation? When did that change?

Every day I see bra straps, g-strings, boxer shorts, and way more skin than I really would like to see. Isn't most of that for the bedroom? Or am I a prude?

I understand times change and what once was is no longer so.

What happened to romance? What happened to showing just enough to entice but not invite?

Just sayin'

True Grit

2011-07-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

My granddaughter's birthday is this Sunday. She will be 10. 10 !!!!!!! My goodness where did the time go?

Her mom is bringing her to me on Friday so she can spend the night and then on Saturday is her birthday surprise. The girl loves horses. I blame that on her Mom. She used to take the tike out to a friends when the tike was very little and she would ride the horses.

So on Saturday we are going for a two hour horseback ride in the mountains. It has been 30 years since I've been on a horse. I know I am going to feel it much more than the Granddaughter. She is going to be ecstatic and I am very excited to see her that way. I hope it is something she will not soon forget. It is amazingly affordable as well so perhaps we can do it more often.

The weather looks like it is going to cooperate as well which will be excellent. Not too cold, not too hot. Puurrrrfect.

Worms and bugs and creepy crawlies.................

2011-07-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

For most of this year I have been planning for my departure from this side. I don't know why it seems so important to me now, but it is. I am fortunate enough to get the military to pay for the cremation of my physical body. I would like to be scattered over the ocean which is doable as well. I see no point in making my kids keep something so painful or quite frankly morbid. I do not want a gravestone for that is not where I am. I do not want my loved ones going there in search of me or to talk to me. When my physical body is gone my spirit will always be with them. I would never leave them. I could not. I have too much love for each and every one of them. If I can ease their way in this world from the other side, you know I'll move heaven and earth to do it.

I's dotted and T's crossed.

The Shark Ate My Camera

2011-06-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful girls day out with my daughter and 2 granddaughters. The boyz decided they did not want to go so it worked out perfectly.

The weather could not have been better. The ocean could have been warmer although that did not stop the kids. They swore the water was warm. Personally I think they were so frozen and numb they could not tell the difference.

A Piece of the Puzzle

2011-06-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

Work is finally getting easier. Two weeks in and things are starting to click. I have more training tomorrow so hopefully there will be more clicking as I learn the programs.

I am also beginning to feel like I fit in. Even though the other two office people are younger, the two MA's are about my age.

I REALLY like the doc. He cares for his patients, takes time to see them even when his schedule is slammed and makes house calls. He truly is a good man. He has no family as far as wife/kids, etc. I believe he plays for the other team. He is a good surgeon and knows his field of expertise. At this point I am happy to be in his office.

I am also learning a whole new language. Turp, Cysto, Vaporization, Eradication........... the list goes on. Each day I learn something new.

I am trying to take one day at a time. No worrying about what I will do tomorrow or even the week/month/year after. I am thinking of moving. I am SO tired of the dog...........the piece did not last long. The stench of dog poo on their patio, the barking, loud noises, I just can't stand it. I am tossing around moving into a studio or room. I would love to find somewhere in the country, out of the city limits where there is quiet.

Oh God, I was whining. Sorry.

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna !!!!

2011-06-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

I took a drive to the coast today and made a command decision:

My sisters.........Iowa sister, Arizona sister, Oregon sister, and Washington sister, and any other sister who can make it (because I don't know where all of you live :-).......we are meeting in mid September at the coast for three or four days. We'll rent a house on or close to the beach. We'll drink wine and Bailey's and whatever else we desire. The kids will be back in school, the summer families will be headed back inland and we'll have a wonderful time!! Cape Kiwanda. Be there or be square.

Everybody's got one

2011-06-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

Today was the day I got to speak to past managers about my evaluation and my opinion of their efforts to manage. There questions asked, lots of notes taken, a bit of talking in circles, and finally they asked what I would change. I told them the department was broken and needed a major overhaul. I hope my efforts will somehow help those who are still in the department.

Work has been difficult this week simply due to the fact I have not been through training yet. I have one session tomorrow morning here in town until noon. Then on to work to hopefully put it to good use. The Doc interviewed a PA today so there was lunch ordered in. We all sat around and asked questions so we could get to know her. We get the4 same kind of thing tomorrow as there is a Doc from Boston coming by. I'm not sure why. I don't care. We get lunch again :-)

I went clothes shopping after the meeting today. I found one dress I really liked. Since I've become as large as a house clothes just don't look very good. There was a really cute dress I wanted and a pair of capris but I looked like a whale so I did not get them. I will try again this weekend. I am going to the Portland area so maybe there will be a few more stores to choose from.

Peace out friends!

If I see one more piece of paper.......................

2011-06-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

Another day down. Woot!!

Are you living the life you deserve or the life you believe you deserve? That is a question I have been contemplating for a few weeks now. For me the answer was easy. It does not mean I like the answer I came to. Now it is on to changing the answer to one I do like.

What do you think ladies?

Hijinx

2011-06-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

Whew....first day on the new job is out of the way. I went and got my nails done after work then headed for KFC for dinner. It's been a long day. In some ways the 8 hours went by pretty quickly and in others not so much. For now I am watching others doing the job and trying to pick up on some of the nuances. The doctor is out of the office until Thursday so it's a great training time. Low key. There are five of us in the office plus the doc. They are all very nice and very welcoming.

I spent my 50th at a Mexican restaurant called El Presidente with friends and my little sis. We had a great time. She came over from Central Oregon just for me. Love that girl. There was food, friendship, and karaoke, just does not get much better than that. My daughter got me a beautiful bouquet of flowers that she left on my doorstep. I believe it's one of the best birthday's I've ever had.

I got an AARP application in the mail. Nothing like a little reality slapping you in the face.

Well that's it for now friends. I'm gonna go get into some comfortable clothes, watch some t.v. and then hit the hay.

Misery loves company

2011-06-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

It has been a long week. I've worked 6 tens so far and have another 5 tomorrow and back on Monday night through Thursday night off Friday.....which is my b-day...yay me....and then work Saturday, off sunday and start my new job on Monday the 20th. Can we say NO Freakin' breather???!!!

Today is my one day off until next week and I'm not gonna do anything...nadda...zilch...nothing.....

The dog issue has been resolved for now. Hopefully it is a permanent fix. The days continue to be cool..only in the mid 60's. It is unusual for this time of year and I'm not liking it one bit...not even a little. We've had two days of nice weather. TWO!! WTH??

O.k. so this post is reflecting my discontent. Sorry.

Don't let the door hit you in the...................

2011-06-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

Manic Monday!!! Actually it was a manic Sunday. We were SO busy last night. I don't usually work on Sundays and I forget how busy they can be. I don't know what it is about Sundays that draws people into the Emergency Room but it is pretty standard for it to be hoppin'. Personally I would hope I'd have something better to do on my Sunday than waiting around for hours in the ED. We generally move people in and out pretty quickly so the wait can be as little as a couple hours. Occasionally it is three to four hours.

Every day at work I am reminded that moving on and starting anew somewhere else is a good thing. I can't wait for these two weeks to be done! My last day is the 18th of June!! Last night I had to clean up after a co-worker who had short timers and left lots of reports undone. I did 5 days of reports that she should have done....ggrrrrrrr. I get it, but always keep in mind that what you don't do has to be done by someone else!!

Have I mentioned that I hate the dog next door?! O.k....so it's not the dog, it's his owner in his lack of training of the dog, but it's the dog's behavior that is driving me crazy! The dog is a pit bull mix. He must be 40 to 50 lbs of dog. His owner leaves the patio door open when he is gone, which is a lot. The dog barks and lunges at the fence between his patio and mine. I can't sit on my patio in peace. He also paws at the front window of the apartment very vigorously. My fear is that he's going to break the window, injuring himself. The dog is left alone much too often. I am not sure why the kid even has him. I have not gone to the landlord yet but I feel it is probably inevitable. Why do people get animals when they truly have no idea how to care for them?

Peter Peeper

2011-05-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

My new job is in a Urologist's office. Working 8 to 5 Monday through Friday. To say I am excited is truly an understatement. I am SO looking forward to being a day person again. I will miss having three days off but I certainly will not miss working nights and putting up with the drama and lack of leadership. I will no longer be under the Union which thrills me. I do lose a week of vacation time per year by moving from the hospital environment to a clinical environment. I think I can deal with that tho.

I will start my new job on the 20th of June. I was suppose to have started on the 6th of June, however my current supervisor decided she wanted me to stay until the next pay period began. There is an upside to starting two weeks later. I am getting bookoo overtime because we are down so many people. I am still debating with myself on whether I want to write a letter starting at the top of the food chain explaining exactly why turn over has become so rampant. I have to decide whether I want to burn those bridges.

I finally got all the paperwork settled on the car. It's finally MINE!! And the banks.....lol

I am tired of the rain. Tired, tired. We are suppose to have a few 80 degree days this weekend which will be nice, but there should be more of them darn it!! We're going into summer time for goodness sake. I have a feeling it's going to be a short and and cool summer. That makes me sad and I hope I am wrong.

I am going to be getting insight from an unconventional source in a few days.. We'll see what comes of it. More details later.

Toodles all.

horns, wings, and spitballs

2011-05-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, so much to share.

I was hired for a new job that starts the 20th of June because my managers are poopyheads. I was suppose to have started on the 6th of June but due to my managers intervention it was pushed out two weeks. So now it will be three weeks before I can get out of the hell hole I am in. O.k....so I exaggerate....a little. So far nine people have moved out of the department. There should be a huge bell going off somewhere and unfortunately there is not. The failure starts at the top of the food chain, obviously.

As I wrote earlier I went out with my ex a few weekends ago. It woke up a realization in me. I miss having someone in my life. I miss having someone around who treats me as if I am treasured. Who cares if I am happy, who wants to spend time with me. Someone who protects me and does the small things a woman enjoys. Opening a door for me, placing his hand on the small of my back while guiding me into an establishment, cherishing me. It is not my ex that I want because there is no love or attraction there any more. But make no mistake, I do want SOMEONE.

Where to go from here? Life moves on. Changes happen. How much control do we have? How much is fate? How much is choice? Life's questions.

The Nw Addition

2011-05-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am now the proud owner of a 2010 Nissan Cube. It is a dream to drive and has all of the functions I wanted in a vehicle. So far there have been lots of laughs and comments on it, but that's o.k.

It has lots of storage space so when I make my move I can get everything in it.

Emty as a bucket

2011-05-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say. Is that good that my brain is empty or for once at peace? I did not go to work last night. Every once in awhile I have stomach problems. Yesterday was one of those times. It will be back to work tonight. I heard from another employer today that I did not get the job. That's four. I have an interview tomorrow by phone for another position. We'll see how that one goes. It's always a 50/50 shot. Nothing like stating the obvious huh?

Okay, I am off to shower and go get my nails done. Exciting!!!!

Chillin'

2011-05-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

I've received two "no thank you" letters for jobs I applied for. One I blew myself because I overslept and missed the second interview. Yeah, I'm good. And that was the job I really wanted.

I went out last night with my ex. We went to a mexican restaurant for dinner then on to a karaoke place in Philomath. I had such a good time! The place we went to is always minimally packed so you get to sing a lot. It was mostly females singing last night and some of the songs were funny and I've never heard them before. I enjoyed laughing, dancing, and just relaxing. I drank too much so he had to drive home and sleep on my love seat. Bless his heart, he didn't sleep well but I did. We went out for breakfast this morning then I took him home.

I pulled the weeds out of my flower bed then went to Tom's Garden Center to get chemicals for the aphids. They were BAD. I came back and sprayed the roses and other plants down. Oh, I also had to buy a garden hose. *sigh* I wonder if I can take all of that off my rent...hehehe.

Over all I had a wonderful time this weekend and am well rested. I house sit tomorrow after noon to monday afternoon for a friend. Watching his dog while they go to Washington State. Love weekends like this.

I hope you all had as peaceful a weekend.

A Fork In The Road

2011-05-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time I updated this thing. This past few weeks I have been applying and interviewing for another position within the hospital group. The conundrum I am having is a lower wage scale. On the average my wages would go down by a dollar an hour IF I am offered the most they will pay. There is the possibility they will offer less. I have a second interview with one of the potentials on Thursday. I am thinking of cancelling it. I don't want to waste their time or mine. One of the managers I interviewed with told me she had offered the position to five different candidates and they all declined due to the wages they were being offered. That does not bode well.

I have said from the beginning of this journey that if I could not find work at the wages I deserve and am currently getting, then I would move on to another possibility. I have been researching New Mexico. I have my resume updated. The cost of living and housing is a bit cheaper there, yet the wages are comparable. I still have to contact my retirement counselors and see what it will take to get that money out and how long the process is. I've heard you have to wait three years to get the money because it is invested. I don't like the sound of that.

I know when the timing is right, and if this is what I am meant to do, then the pieces will fall into place. That is what happened when I moved to Alaska. The stars were aligned and it was the easiest move I've ever made.

Santa Fe or Las Vegas New Mexico, which will it be? :-)

If you find it in your heart

2011-05-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

If you are able. If you care to do so. Please help a gifted reporter and his photographer in telling a horror story that will hopefully have a happier ending.

http://mingistoryproject.blogspot.com/

Wicked is as Wicked does

2011-04-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

I went and saw this today. I included this clip even though it's not great quality, because Natalie Daracich did a better job on Galinda than Kristina Chenemweth. In my opinion.

I had a wonderful time and would love to see it one more time.

May your feet have wings

2011-04-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had an interview this morning at a hospital that is much closer to home. I thought it would be less stressful to interview for a job, knowing I already had a job. Not so much. I am a terrible interviewee. I don't think well on my feet, so to speak. I need time to process and most interviewers don't like that. I hate the questions. Always the same questions. What is your strength, what is your weakness, why should we hire you over someone else, where do you see yourself in five years. One would think that knowing the questions are always the same I would be prepared to answer them. I never am. I have a problem with misleading them. Telling them that I see myself here or there in five years when in reality I have no flippin' idea where I'll be in five years. There are too many variables. What I see as strengths may not be what they are looking for in an employee and perhaps my idea of a great employee are outdated and obscure. I tend to say stupid things like "I don't interview well", and " I don't really have an answer for that". I sell myself short, I know I do, but damned if I can stop it. I was not able to see the place where I would be working because it is currently being constructed. A new sleep center is being built off site, a few blocks from my home, and would be a one person office basically. Someone who could take the position and office and make it their own. It sounds ideal. A new facility. A challenge to start a new office including the procedures and formats to make it work. I have another interview at an Urgent care here in town on Monday. We'll see how that one goes. Have I said how much I hate interviewing?

I was honest about why I was looking elsewhere for employment. She seemed to understand as her manager had been like ours and she swore she would not be that kind of manager. That was a relief. It can't be good to bad mouth your managers in an interview.

It seems there are a lot of people bailing out of the department right now. We have 7 benefited positions coming open at once. If I and a co-worker get the jobs we want, that's 9 leaving. It sez something about the department doesn't it?

I am going to see Wicked with a coworker tomorrow. She had an extra ticket and invited me. I am so excited. I had wanted to go but did not have the funds. It should be fun. I've never been to a musical outside of high school productions, so it's a first for me. Hopefully it will affect me so profoundly I'll make more of an effort to repeat the experience.

Today is gonna be my down day. Sleeping, playing online, generally not doing anything. I may make an effort to do dishes later.....maybe. Big maybe. Most likely I'll clean house tomorrow morning before I leave at noon to go see the show. My daughter and her family are coming to stay Saturday evening so that will be nice. I so love being around all of them, including my son and his family.

When eggs just aren't enough

2011-04-23T21:05:00.000-07:00

Spent the day at my son's celebrating Easter. The oldest had a great time hunting eggs and eating candy. Good luck with bed time tonite. It was a very low key and peaceful day, which is not the norm so it was very nice.

Did LOTS of shopping for Easter goodies for the kiddos. I had a good time. I love shopping for others. Anticipating the smiles on their faces and the joy the gift will bring.

I will be going to daughter's bright and early tomorrow morning to spend most of the day with them. I'm guessing the kids will be up very early to see what the Easter Bunny brought for them. I was just over there on Friday night for dinner. It was a long drive but well worth the time. I'm sure tomorrow will be as well.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter Sunday filled with whatever brings you joy.

Blessings.

Times they are ah changing

2011-04-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

So far it's been a very benign night. I haven't been here long tho and it is "Thirsty Thursday". We'll see what the night brings.

I've finally signed up for the free 30 days of Netflix. I have been catching up on all of the Army Wives episodes I missed when it first came on the air. Some of them make me laugh, often times make me cry. Military life is a tough road for all concerned, even the dependents.

I am exploring the location change possibility. I do not want to act hastily, but rather take my time and think out the consequences of a move. If it is a move I really need in the first place. I am tired of the same routine. I dread going to work even though I love what I do. I think it's just the fact I'm in a rut. I need a change. A change of routine, a change of location, a change of something. Like I said, no hasty decisions, just looking right now.

This weekend is free and clear until Sunday. I will be spending Easter with my daughter and the kids. I hope to make a trip on Saturday to Lebanon to see my son and his family and give them some items to add to the kids Easter baskets. I also have some things for my nephews. I think my daughter should celebrate Easter on Saturday as the weather is suppose to be warm and sunny and Sunday is rain, rain, rain. No fun to hunt Easter eggs in the rain or in the house. Way more fun outside.

For now I'll be plugging along, putting out feelers, and seeing what signs I get for change. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Pictures of the ER

2011-04-21T02:17:00.000-07:00

So I thought today I would tell you a funny story from last night and then show you some pictures of where I work.

I believe I've told you that when the weather gets cold the homeless people turn to the hospital for shelter. We had two regulars who came in last night. One walked in by himself, which he always does, and the other one came in by ambulance, which he always does. The one who came in by ambulance is in his late 20's to early 30's, has mental health issues, and looks like a wild man. His hair is blonde and red, looks like it has never seen a comb and sticks up in every direction.

He was raising a ruckus in his room last night so he got thrown out of the ER. Our Security guard here in the hospital is a fairly new guy so the mental health security guard was summoned to assist. Both guards escorted him to the front doors, with him yelling the whole way. The Mental Health security guy was taking no shit from this guy. At one point the patient got in the MH guard's face and he was telling him to go ahead and take a swing. The cops were here eating lunch and could be called down in a heartbeat to escort his sorry ass out. The patient asked if the MH guard was threatening him. The reply was yes. Then patient asked MH guard if he was really threatening his physical person. Again, the answer was affirmative. The patient started yelling how he was going to sue the hospital and everyone in it and that we would be sorry we treated him that way. He would never come back to this hospital again. At this point my co-worker and I were secretly saying "yes"!! The patient turned to stomp away but hesitated and asked, but where will I go? The answer was we don't care. He turned again, hesitated and asked, but how will I get home? Again the answer was we don't care. It was very entertaining to be on this end of the altercation.

The other homeless guy who was now in the waiting room made himself scarce and fell asleep in front of the t.v. Usually he's mister chatty pants and won't leave us alone. I guess he didn't want to be thrown out as well.

Waiting area

Front doors

Triage rooms

Looking from ER doors towards waiting room

Phones that people get terribly confused in using. Thus the green tape.

You learn something every day......

2011-04-20T05:27:00.001-07:00

I learned that doctors don't yield the right of way.

Weekend of joy

2011-04-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

What a weekend of joy. I got to spend time with all three grandkids, which included the wee one, and it was awesome. They are such good kids, and so much fun. We went to my brother's for a bit and they enjoyed playing with his kids and of course my sister in law loved having the baby :-) My brother kept telling her to stay away from the baby :-) I left them there for an hour or so and went to see my son as well so got to see his kids for a bit. All in all it was a fantastic weekend. On the road to taking the kids home I was not absolutely sure which way to go but my four year old grandson had it down pat. "You were suppose to turn there Grandma", was what he said. He was absolutely right. Sad that a four year old has a better sense of direction than I do. Little stinker.

I have woken up with a migraine and no pain meds in the house. What fun! If it does not ease up within the next few hours I won't be going to work tonight. I don't get them often thank goodness. Tigger is out enjoying the sunshine and it looks like there will be plenty of it this week. The temps won't be high but the sun will be out. Well worth it. Of course the rain will be back by the weekend....yiippeeeeee